Courageous Journey of An Angel on Earth

Archive for December, 2012

My Beautiful Angel..Forever

Forever and ever, we are one…Forever and ever, my love for you will grow…Forever and ever, we will spend together. I am going to leave this life and the ways of this world behind me one day Alexa. Just like you have. It is my destiny, Heaven. I will meet you, and see you in all of God’s Glory, one beautiful day. All of the time and space, the hurt and pain, the sadness and sorrow, the anguish, fears and loneliness will dissipate. 

It was one year ago tonight that I laid down next to you for the last time that you would sleep here on this earth. I can’t even begin to describe the pain. The tears just won’t stop. I long to let go of the treacherous memories that I allow myself to feel. I try to redirect my heart and remember us laughing together, you kissing Mommy and your beautiful little giggle, while you, Daddy and Joshua rolled around playing on the floor. But the evil of this cruel world won’t let me forget. The night I want to remember, I am trying to rearrange in my head and it’s not working. All I can think is you don’t deserve what you had to endure, as your Mommy, I can’t cope with the fact that I couldn’t stop it for the life of me. So I turned to God, and I asked him, please don’t let my baby suffer any longer. Please put an end to this Lord. And he answered. But there is a beauty in the suffering of this world. The beauty is when God intercedes, and brings peace to your heart. It was God interceding for us Alexa, and you know now more than I, that only he can bring real peace and love to your heart and soul. I have experienced only a touch of what God can do, and I look forward everyday to experiencing Heaven with you. I know that what you can see and feel, I cannot even fathom. I am so happy that you don’t have to feel the pain of this life. Some will never understand me, and some sadly do understand me, it takes a special person to be able to make sense of that statement.

ImageSo as time goes on, I want to spread the word of the Amazing Alexa Marie Sanner. No time or space will ever separate me from you. Our love is so immense, immeasurable and insurmountable. I will not focus on time here, I will only focus on my goal. You sweet Alexa were sent here on a mission, a mission from the Heavens and the the Lord, and you as we know, accomplished all that he needed you for here on this earth. Now you are in Heaven, working hard to bring Gods love and truth into the hearts of the loved ones you have here. I look forward everyday to the promise of Heaven, I know Heaven is real, I know you are a true Saint, brought forth to Christ so pure and sinless. What an amazing blessing you are Alexa. I am so honored to be you Mommy. I also know that you have touched so many lives and changed so many people here. I just recently received a card from someone who was working with us while you were in treatment. She told me the story of what you did for her and how you changed her life, how you paved the way for her, and how you taught her to surrender to God. You my love are Amazing. Obviously, you are always with me, we talk every moment of everyday, I am constantly told by Father Donahue and Father Chacko, that you have not gone anywhere and I will in fact see you again. And that I do know. As  we continue ticking on down here, I know I am closer everyday. Again, I will thank God for the blessing of Alexa. And Alexa, you know as well as I, the amazing events that have taken place in our lives since you went to Heaven, would not have been possible if you were not our Saint in Heaven, interceding for us and bringing our Prayers directly to the Lord. We are so lucky, so grateful and so extraordinarily blessed. I will be longing to see you my love, everyday until my time has come, but I have a job to finish here, I am a Mommy, and when he is pleased with my work, I pray I will be greeted by you, to be swept off to an eternity of pure bliss, Heaven, with you Forever…

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