Courageous Journey of An Angel on Earth

Big Bubba


Alexa and Joshua remain to be two of the closest, most extraordinary brother and sister I have ever seen. Lexi’s big brother has honored, adored and unconditionally loved her since she was in my belly. I am so proud of my son and through all of the fog and confusion have made it a point to explain to him how very proud I am. As uncontrollable tears streamed down my face I realized I hadn’t told this brave, proud 3 year old brother how much his role, actions and affection affected Alexa’s life in such a way. Joshua was always on Alexa’s mind, especially when she didn’t feel well. I have numerous videos of her on some really bad days, laughing, bouncing around and calling “bub” then I would say ok, call Daddy Lex, and again she would say “bub”. In that soft, beautiful, angelic little voice of hers, it was clear who she needed. Joshua would run in the door everyday that we had to be apart, just like it was the first day he had seen her, “Lexi!! Big Bubbas home honey”. He called her honey, like a little man, a protector, a real big brother. There was never an ounce of jealousy, just lots of love and concern. I could clearly remember two incidents that will always bring tears to my eyes. When Alexa was first admitted to the hospital in April, the very first time her brother came to see her after his first time being apart from her ever, he hovered over the bed with her aunts and I and started singing “you are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are gray, you’ll never know how dear much I love you, please don’t take my sunshine away” Those words really did sting at that very moment, and I have a video of that moment, my face tells it all, I couldn’t bear to hear those words “please don’t take my sunshine away”. Another time that distinctly stands out for me was the last time we were in the hospital, as soon as Joshua got into the room he immediately went up to Lexi, she had a feeding tube in her nose and an oxygen canister in her nose, the first thing he said to her was “Lexi, you look so pretty”. An average 3 year old would start asking me what this tube is and whats that doing on her and so on. Not Joshua, he is so very special. He is unbelievable, she is always put first with him, and he continues to involve Alexa in his everyday. He told me that he wanted to build a really, really tall latter so he can bring Lexi’s toys up to heaven for her. He has picked out some of his toys that he says he is bringing to heaven for Lexi when he gets really, really old and gets to go there. You know you’ve got some amazing gifts from God, when your children who are 1 and 3 years old are teaching you all about life. I speak not only for myself, although the depth of my situation couldn’t possibly touch all who love my children the way it touches me, there are some amazing transformations and truths about life, that MY CHILDREN are teaching us here. I cannot explain to anyone, or expect anyone to ever understand how these two have made life here so clear. I will say, beware…to anyone who thinks they know the meaning of this life, beware. I suspect you don’t even realize everyday when you wake, that your child is not yours, your child is a heavenly gift. Our children are just that, gifts from God, if you don’t believe so, one day you will certainly face God, an all will be revealed. I will say that I feel very blessed and extremely lucky that God chose me to be the Mommy of this real Angel. The gifts of love and wisdom, I cannot undermine here, I was given the most surreal experience, and every time I feel myself slipping under and about to lose control, that spark of amazement hits me all over again. As I look into my sons beaming brown eyes, there is a clear answer, it’s straight to the core of my very being here, my purpose, to live like a child, so honest and true, so innocent and full of love, so vibrant about the little pleasures, the gifts from God, the simple ones. My daughter was presented to Jesus as the most pure soul, not one sin…that is truly a blessing. Alexa remains with her big bub every second of the day, he always tells me, “mommy, Lexi is so pretty” “mommy, I love Lexi so much” I know their love and connection will only be strengthened never be broken. I can say with uttermost confidence, I am the proudest Mommy in the entire world. Thank you Jesus for the amazing gifts you have given me in this life.

Comments on: "Big Bubba" (6)

  1. Aunt Chelly said:

    My sister and her husband are so blessed to have the opportunity to have Joshua and Alexa, they are two extremely special children, there is no question about that. They have such a strong, amazing bond that will be there forever. From the day Joshua was born I knew there was something special about him…then came Alexa and from the day she was born there was something extremely special about her…then to see these two beautiful children with each other, there are no words to describe the love and adoration that they have for each other. It is truly a special bond. Every time I am with Joshua he is talking about Lexi and how much he loves her and how pretty she is! Lexi is an Angel and Joshua is the brother of an Angel… Those of us that are given the privilege of not only having Joshua and Alexa, but also Josh and Darlene be a part of our lives are EXTREMELY LUCKY! They have all taught me so much about life, Lexi has taught me the most but I continue to learn from each one of them everyday and I thank God that they are a part of my life! I Love you!
    Alexa Marie you are so Precious to me, my special little Angel! I LOVE YOU and THANK YOU for letting me be a part of your life.

  2. I have honestly never seen a bond so amazing and beautiful than the way Joshua and Alexa are with eachother. Since Alexa was first born I always called her Angel Alexa and My Daughter of God, and now I know why.. I think Alexa had a special bond with each and every one of us in our own way because I know for certain that me and Lexy had a very special bond and I will NEVER, EVER forget it. My One and Only Baby. The way she would gaze into Joshuas eyes and just with her eyes tell him how much she loves and adores him and looks up to him is absolutely unbelievable and the way he would take care of her. As soon as she would wake up she would crawl right to those stairs and call “ubbbbbaaaa.” I can’t feel it enough how lucky I feel to be the Godmother of an Angel, Angel Alexa, I can only imagine how blessed Lexy’s Mommy, Daddy, and Big Bubba feel.
    I love, I love, I love my Lexy Marie.
    Sweet, Sweet Lexy Marie!!!!

  3. AuntMonMon said:

    I remember the first time Joshy got to see Alexa after her broviach. He asked Mommy what that was and she told him its for Lexi’s medicine. . . Joshua’s response, “you still look soo pretty Lex.” and gave her a kiss and held her hand. Joshua and Alexa are beyond amazing. I always had a different feeling about those two, words cant even describe them they are so miraculous. Darlene and Josh are so lucky to be blessed with such heavenly children and my family and I as well am so lucky to be a part of them. I do thank God for what we get and thank him for giving us the opportunity that not many at all get. . . To meet, love, care for, have, learn from, know, touch, feel, kiss and hug one of his precious dear angels. I love you Lexi and I love your mommy and daddy and big bubba. Thank you all for having an impact on my life💛

  4. Aunt Chelly said:

    The two most amazing moments that my sister is writing about, I was LUCKY enough to witness and be a part of…Thank you Joshua and Alexa you are AMAZING!!! Just to hear those words that came from Joshua so lovingly and genuine brings tears to my eyes…

  5. Cousin Matthew said:

    I am so blessed to have uncle josh to be my uncle. Thank you so much for such a great uncle aunt dee. And you, well lets just say you have always been my aunt, my strong, young, beautiful aunt. I couldnt have asked anymore from cool dude Joshua and angel Alexa. When ever i see Alexa she would have a HUGE SMILE and that would give me a huge smile which i love. Also, my cousin joshua, well whenever i see him he just yells MATTHEW!!! That makes me feel wanted and loved that my cousin loves me that much. Alexa and Joshua are the World to me. Joshua with his smart complete sentence talking and Alexa with her happiness,and angel looks, have taught me that my Aunt Darlene and Uncle Josh really know how to raise their children. With the way the my Aunt Darlene and Uncle Josh handle tough situations is amazing and unreal. They are the two most young, strong, confident, and BEST couple out there in this world today!!! I love you guys.

  6. It’s amazing how extremely close Joshua and Alexa are; sometimes I look up and find Joshua staring at me with his big brown eyes and not say one word and I just know it’s My Lexy and it just makes me feel so beyond happy, and overfilled with joy because I know it’s our Angel communicating with us. Just last night after Lexy made her Daddys team win, me and Uncle Joe were in the car talking about the game and the radio just decided to turn on.. Lexy you little stinker.. She was letting us know it was her! ILOVEYOUBABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im gonna get you.. Im gonna get youuuu!! LOVE GOOMAMAMA! ❤ we will see you before you know it

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